proudAPmom

I’ve had lower back trouble since I was 13 years old. Today I went to see a Chiropractor since I was having some severe lower back pain since Thursday. I was told today that I have some muscle spasms going on, and he couldn’t use the traditional methods that he would have liked since I am pregnant and instead would have to stick to just doing adjustments and once things calm down a bit he will add in traction. After the first visit I can already feel the difference, although I am starting to hurt a bit now. I have to make lunch for my family and I have cleaning to do, as well as finding the old MRIs that the doctor wants to see when I go in again on Monday. It is going to be fun trying to find those stupid films - this house is such a mess, and the films could even be out in the garage, which has no path through the snow to it. I will have to just plow through, if I decide to go out there, and I don’t really want to since I am already freezing inside the house.Anyhow, I didn’t have any nausia this morning, so I am happy about that. I don’t really feel pregnant except that each day for the past week I took a test and it always came out positive. I love seeing that positive. I can’t wait for my first doctors appointment for the confirmation and due date. I am really looking forward to getting back into my maternity clothes and seeing what sex the baby is. Last time we never opted to find out, so he was a surprize to us :) This time I want to know so I can find out if I will need more clothes in different colors (pink). I have tons of yellow and green clothes for newborn, but everything else is little boy clothes and colors. I would be happy either way, although I feel like it would be very exciting to have another little boy so Robbie can have a little brother first, then I would like a little girl. She would have two big brothers. 

Today I got up and got my son ready for gymnastics. I was feeling okay, and I quickly took my prenatal before running out the door with my son. We were on our way, when my stomach starting turning and feeling so bad. I thought I was going to throw up.  When I was pregnant with my son, I never had any morning sickness, and I took the prenatal vitamin through the whole pregnancy without any problems. So, I don’t know if this was a true case of morning sickness, or just me being sensitive to the vitamin. I wanted to eat something, but couldn’t figure out anything that sounded good to eat - everything that I thought of made me feel sick. I finally settled on a bottle of milk at the pharmacy and a rice crispy treat.  Not exactly nutritious, but better than nothing.I dreamed about lemon pie and apple crisp last night. I am making apple crisp right now.With my last pregnancy I craved meats! Chicken wings, hamburgers and steaks were what I wanted and they tasted so good. Today, I didn’t even want to think about meats, and instead most foods sound pretty gross to me. I did eat something that tasted so wonderful when I got home from gymnastics - club crackers. I dip them in whipped cream cheese that is topped with raspberry jam - So Yummy!!! I could continue to eat those, but I don’t want to fill up before dinner. Perhaps I will be able to eat some of it without feeling ill. I sure hope that I don’t have the morning sickness, but I wonder if I do, does that mean I am having a girl?  I am really looking forward to getting together with the Holistic Moms Network in February for a round table - we are going to discuss things that we want to talk about in upcoming meetings - my focus before was more towards doing more natural things for my family, now I would also like to figure out more natural things I can specifically do during pregnancy. I don’t want to just use any body creams, or medications in my body while I am pregnant. I am also still breastfeeding my 2 year old, so I need support on that - especially if I start to get sore, or when he does his power nurses. I sometimes wish he would just quit, but I also know that my son is very shy and it is a way of feeling connected to me and close. I don’t want him to loose that before he is ready. He is very unsure of new situations and with having a new baby, he may need the comfort of the breast later on. I guess time will tell. 

At least that is what I am blaming it on. For the past few nights I’ve been so tired early on. Last night for instance, I was exhausted at 6:30pm and I fell asleep at 8pm. My son was not ready for bed, but he did fine. He usually stays up with me until around 9:30-10pm, so this was quite a bit earlier. Then I am waking way too early - yesterday morning I woke at 4am, this morning I woke at 2am. I was able to get back to sleep today, only because I got up and went pee and then had a large glass of milk mixed with Ovaltine because I was starving! There wasn’t anything that I really wanted to eat at that hour and I was in a hurry to get back to bed bofore I couldn’t sleep at all. It helped too, since I was able to go back to sleep eventually…after reading two magazines I fell asleep. I had to get back up at 6am to feed the dogs, and then I brought the kiddo downstairs at 6:30 and we dozed on the couch until around 8am which felt wonderful.I have been really moody and it doesn’t help that I’ve had my heart set on paying off our bills, getting some new clothes and upgrading my lousy cell phone for a very nice sleek new number. I filed taxes on the 19th of January. The first message I got said that I could expect my return by January 30th, then a new message said the 4th of Feb. I was dealing okay with that, then yesterday I checked back and there was a new date again! Now it has moved to the 10th. I called and waited on hold for 30 minutes before getting a woman who was no help at all. I wanted to cry. She didn’t understand why this would annoy the heck out of me. We are a low income family and we get all these tax breaks for me staying home with our children - we need any extra money we can get until my husband finds a better job. I was so excited to know we would have the money in time to pay some bills, but now I am worried again that we will loose our money (although I don’t know to what) and I am also worried that they will try to hold out longer on giving us our money.She did tell me that they have up to three weeks to process a return - the week of the 9th is the third week and she said they always do direct deposits on the Friday, so I guess we are plannning on the 13th. So I don’t know why they don’t just put that on the webpage instead of the 10th. As long as we get our money! 

I am beginning to hate snow this year. We are just getting more and more of the white stuff dumped on us. Today we are supposed to have 10″ by 4pm. We are getting close - and there was freezing rain and sleet to mix it up a bit. I cancelled an oil change on the van, and I skipped my sons story time, the first time we’ve done this :(My husband went to work to participate in training today, and is due to come home around noon. I sure hope the roads are okay for him as he drives back. We can’t get the driveway plowed because all the plow companies and overbooked and won’t have any openings until tomorrow. We don’t really have the money anyhow. And to top it all off, we don’t have snow shovels. We’ve been just driving through it, but this stuff is nasty - I sure hope we are able to get out tomorrow when we need to. Off to do some laundry and get some cleaning done. I am super tired right now, and all I want to do is eat - I am pregnant and the cravings are starting. I love meat during the first trimester :) 

Today is a really good day! Today I found out that our bankruptcy case is CLOSED which means the trustee can’t take our tax return and give it to our creditors. I also just found out that I am pregnant with number two. For the bad news - my husband is seriosly depressed and didn’t seem terribly happy about the pregnancy. He was punched in the face at work a few days ago, and things are really tough there all around. He just wants to be done, he is so tired from lack of sleep and he is working super hard at getting good grades in school. He just needs a break so bad.So, I am really excited about the pregnancy but nervous about hubbies reaction, however I do think he is going to be happy about it and will be fine as soon as he gets some rest…. 

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Sundays can seem like such a long day compared to other days of the week for me. It is because we have nothing going on, most stores and the library are closed - so there isn’t much for me to do with my son.

Today, will be a day of hanging around the house and cleaning, most likely. I do need to get some of that stuff done - like washing clothes and bed sheets, and I need to do my floors. I neglect so much of this stuff during the week since there is so much to do elsewhere - gymnastics at the Y, story time at the library and other places to visit.

For lunch today I am making a spaghetti with red sauce, and lamb. I may do a small salad for my husband, but I am in no mood to eat raw veggies - they bother my stomach and I don’t know what is going on with my stomach today, but I already know that if I were to take a bite of lettuce, it would start giving me trouble.

My husband is out jogging with the dogs and my son is now begging for my attention, so I must go to play with him now.

Have a great Sunday!

Today I started bleeding and now I am having mild cramps. I’ve mentioned the symptoms to a group of friends and now we all think that I could be suffering a early miscarriage.

I am really sad about this, although it is not certain yet. I guess I will have to wait and see how it progresses from here, but right now I think I am going to go to bed and try not to think on it any more for the night. I have a beautiful son who needs my attention and wants to play and cuddle with his Mommy. I can’t wallow in self-pitty right now.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful weekend and is staying warm - we are dropping in temps after a few nice days in the 30’s. It is now only 5*F outside. I am feeling the difference inside already.

Good night.

I am waiting on my son to wake up so I can go out to get a few supplies. He fell asleep around 2pm and has been sleeping since (it is now 4:30). He must have been very tired to still be sleeping, but it has been nice to have a few moments to myself to get some stuff acomplished. Now, I have to feed the dogs and finish doing laundry and cleaning floors. I am feeling kinda strange today - I felt a bit dizzy earlier and my stomach has some strange ‘flutterings’ but that could be caused by IBS that I have on occassion. I am still just a little hopeful that I am, instead, pregnant. However, with each additional pregnancy test that I take that comes up negative, the further I feel depressed and less hopeful. I am sure that I will pull out of it quickly once I know for sure, as I will just try again next month :)I just placed an order for some natural body care items from Dr. Bronners. I’ve never ordered from them before, but all the talk recently in our home of organics and holistics has caused to me to rethink what I am using on my skin and in my hair. Normally we can’t afford top brands and their top prices, but I felt that this month it might be worth checking these products out and seeing if they last longer, do as good a job as our regular products, and not cause any adverse reactions - my skin is very sensitive.Oops, there…my son just woke up. He feels just a little shaky - he has been sleeping a long time. So, we filed our taxes and we have quite a large sum coming back - not as much as last year because I didin’t donate as much baby items, but still a sizeable chunk. After working out the numbers, I made a proposal to my husband that we pay off all our current bills (so I can not feel so anxious about each month) and then we would still have a large amount to still play with. We are getting new, very nice cell phones in February. We are upgrading. I am getting the Samsung Eternity and I think my husband is going to get the Apple iPhone. We will be paying more monthly, but after having all our bills paid in full, we should be able to afford the increase. We also plan to cut the home phone, since we don’t use it and the monthly fee is going up. We will probably also get a Nintendo Wii since I think it will help me to get in shape by using the Wii Fit. My husbands work will cover 1/2 the cost as part of their health and fitness goals for their employees.I have joined a new group - or new to me - the Holistic Moms Network. I feel like I am finally finding some people who have similar beliefs. Although we don’t agree on everything, I seem to agree with more issues with these women than I do with the women I meet in our church. I also meet a lot of women/moms in my sons classes and one asked me today if I would be interested in getting together for playgroups with her. I said that I would, and now I just have to see if it works out. Her daughter really likes my son, although they are both so very shy that most of the time they won’t look at each other, lol! She is only a month or two older than him, too, so it will be good for them to play together.I got my son a fish today for a pet. He really loves to look at the fish when we go to the stores, and I thought that maybe having one at home would be fun for him. I set it up today in its bowl and it seems to be doing well - it is a blue male beta. A very pretty fish :) 

I just finished my taxes today, and it is such a relief. At first I thought to save money I would try to do it for free online at www.irs.gov. I followed the instructions as best as I could and submitted the finished forms, only to have it returned to me today with many errors.

I decided to go back to my old stand-by of Turbo Tax Deluxe. I logged onto their website and started my returns for free (pay when you finish). I found that I was getting more money back by using them, so I continued all the way to the end and decided to purchase - I don’t have the money to purchase the software today, so I opted for them to take the cost out of the return, which incurs an additional fee of $30. Totally expensive, but in the end so worth it. With Turbo Tax our family got an additional $1,800 from what I had figured when doing them on my own.

Turbo Tax also got us an additional $100 from state, and with our city taxes we broke even, so that was fine. As long as I don’t have to pay any money in, I feel good. We still owe back taxes from the town we moved from, and our state taxes this year should pay those ones off with some money to spare.

On another topic, I am still obsessing with the pregnancy thing. I purchased yet another test, to just get a negative. I feel like I am literaly peeing on money and throwing it away, but I just can’t stop myself from testing because I want it to be positive so bad, and I keep thinking that I tested too early (which is probably true) but I also think that this time I probably will be able to get a positive because it has been long enough. I called the Ob/GYN to ask questions of them, but they called back while I was out - buying the new test. I guess for now I am just going to try my very hardest to wait until my period is supposed to start, on the 28th and see if it does. It probably will